My New Year's Resolutions for 2013

      in order of difficulty, more or less.  Please wish me luck !

1. Forgive myself for forgetting or defying most of my 2012 resolutions.
2. Try not to make more than $400,000 -- to avoid those nasty tax increases.
3. Get a haircut, maybe.
4. When there's time left on my parking receipt, leave it in the slot for the next guy.
5. When in Walm*rt, refrain from saying, "I'd like to see someone in Ladies Underwear."
6.  What the Heck, refrain from Walm*rt altogether.
7. Discard anything in the fridge with an expiration date from the 20th century.
8. Never leave fewer than 3 sheets of TP on the roll. It's the least I can do to be courteous.
9. Retire the following words or phrases  
         Paradigm, scenario, genre, out-of-the-box, under-the-bus, OMG, LoL, Deal with it,
         We need a bigger boat (I still like that one), or "Are you talkin' to me?"
10. File  my tax return before August,
    assuming the IRS knows before then what deductions didn't go off the Fiscal Cliff.
11. Try not to judge judgmental people.
12. Be as polite to my family as I am to strangers.
13. Remember that if I want people to accept me just the way I am,
            I have to accept them just the way they are (but I can still walk away).
14. Try not to complain, criticize or gossip.
15. Deleted --  already broken.  That's a sign to stop making resolutions.