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On Angels and Messengers

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Glossary of Seldom-Used Music Terms




Dr Speedbump’s                                                   
 Glossary of Seldom-Used Music Terms 3.5
Page 1 of 2


al dente

with a toothy grin; (see liberace)

al Fredo

heart-breaking

al Pacino

violent, but charming

altissimo

as high as you can sing

analgesia

gradually emerge from a painfully slow tempo

anchovi

few will like this section; (see broccoli)

anesthesia

slow enough to put the audience to sleep

archipelago

extremely stretched out

aria guitaria

air guitar

aria guitaria segovia

very good air guitar

asphyxia

squirming around to get more comfortable

awolto

an alto absent without notifying the director

broccoli

distasteful, but doesn’t stink as bad as anchovi

bromo salsa

a dance that follows anchovi pizza molto presto

caracas

crisp; (see dorito and tostito)

cleavagio

whole notes smushed together but still distinct

clipiti clopiti

in the style of Gene Autry; (see palomino)

colorado

beautiful, except where it’s flat

con supina

sing even if you don’t want to

counter tenor

a singing waiter at a diner

da Vinci

be inventive; make something up

de Julio

campy, but in an oriental style

de Niro

forget about it; the composer’s not talking to you

disconcerto

falling apart when the conductor loses his place

domino

finish in 30 minutes or less or you don't get paid

dorito

corny; one variation of caracas

dumbo

heavy, but soaring

el Greco

distorted, like everything by this composer

fargo

from a distance

farina

fine but distasteful

fraudulento

sung slowly, faking the words

gambino

in control with conviction (don't screw it up)

gelatino

generally shaky

generalissimo

with a commanding voice

graziano

a rocky, medium-heavy rhythm; (see marciano)

innuendo

very suggestively

karo

sickeningly sweet

largo cargo

slow and heavy

largo con fuego

a slow burn

liberace

with gaity, al dente, in a tuxedo


Glossary
of Seldom-Used Music Terms
Page 2 of 2


linguini

a very thin tone

marciano

a rocky, very heavy rhythm; (see graziano)

martini pimento

ornamentation with no real purpose

mea culpa

with lots of mistakes

mea maxima culpa

the worst mistake imaginable

nolo prima

miss the entrance

oleo

saturated with flats

omaha

flat and boring

palomino

more uniform than pinto, ala Gene Autry

pinto

with contrasting spots; (see clipiti clopiti)

paterno

with blind determination, ad infinitum

payola

you must pay to play; i.e., no union musicians

pinnochio

played stiffly with strings

pizza molto

very flat

pizza pepperoni

with zest, but still flat

pizza poco

just a little flat

pizza poco a poco

getting flatter all the time

pp

what you should have done before the concert

priapistico

performed while standing for more than 4 hours

primi

start way too soon

quasi modo

moving along at half-speed

quasi morte angelina

beautiful but fading; literally “like a dying angel”

repugnissimo

very disgusting

rico

executed by an ensemble

riga morte

stiff and very dull; quiet but not soft

rigatoni

a more robust tone; (see linguini)

rondo bondo

a recurring theme, each time by a different instrument, but never as well as the second one; always rehearsal section 007

sara palino

totally unprepared, stopping halfway through

semolina

coarse and gritty

siberia

no sorento, ever

silencio

a cappella tutti (orchestra, chorus and soloists)

soni bono

literally “a good sound”, but really a bit irritating

sorento

go back to this place; (synonymous with DS)

stubato

stumbling painfully along

tipperari

from an even greater distance than fargo

topeka

there’s absolutely nothing to do in this section

toledo

very exciting, compared to omaha or topeka

tostito

another variation of caracas (see dorito)

vivace fortissimo subito

wake the audience up; (see anesthesia)

wasilla vista

see siberia

zombi

riga morte quasi modo


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