TBD

TBD

TBD

TBD

CONESTOGA

Bismarck, North Dakota

is a straight shot down the road.

It's where I gotta go ta

though I've got a heavy load.

I feel like I've been sailin'

against the wind all day

Eight miles to the gallon --

Please tell the EPA.

My Jeep and travel trailer

are like a jib and main.

Though I'm a real good sailer

I can"t stay in my lane.

If I had a prairie schooner,

a conestoga wagon,

I would get to Bismarck sooner

even with an anchor draggin'.

DAY 7 -- FARGO

I did in fact make it to Fargo Sunday night -- but on the seemingly endless drive on Interstate 94 through Minnesota, I composed this silly little ditty in the style of Ogden Nash, Dr Seuss or Shel Silverstein.

FARGO

by Dr Speedbump

I want to go to Fargo

But how was I to know

It was too far to go to Fargo?

Far to far to go.

If go to Fargo

I cannot go today.

And I can't go tomorrow

Unless it's on the way.

I  had the time to go to Fargo

If I went yesterday

But now I don't know how to go

on a day that's gone away.

I could watch the movie, though

It wouldn't be the same.

So I may never go to Fargo

unless they change the name.

,

DAYS 5 and 6

Mama never said there'd be days like this, one after another.

After spending the night at a highway rest area, I had breakfast at Denny's in Black River Falls, WI. When leaving, I dropped sonething amid the clutter on the floor of the right side of my car. Fishing blindly, I got my thumb impaled on a fishhook enbedded in the floor mat. A kind, bewildered lady stopped her car and removed the clutter. I googled "Urgent Care near me" and somehow drove across town to a clinic. The pain was excruciating, but likely saved me from a messy wound. The staff was wonderful. To keep my mind off the pain, I launched into a routine of silly poems and other stories. A real MD injected my thumb with anesthetic and I managed to get myself  unhooked without resorting to the technique of pushing the hook in further and out again to snip off the barb. That was fortunate. Problems can always be worse, you know. I camped m at a Walmart in Minneapolis.

On Friday, I spent a very pleasant day with Shelly Degolyer and the various bipeds and quadrapeds who have found shelter under her roof. After a much needed nap, I visited the informal George Floyd Memorial on Chicago Ave, just 3 blocks away.

Then my day got a bit scary.

A grey minivan, with one headlamp out, started following me as I drove up Chicago Ave.  He got in front of me and tried unsuccessfully to block the road.  I took some unpredictable turns, but he kept finding me. I got on the highway and he tailed me for 42 miles , at various speeds, 40 to 65 mph, until I called 911 and the dispatcher stayed on the phone with me for about 20 minutes. He acted as if this has happened before. He directed me to a Quickfill, where I waited and waited for the patrol car to arrive, while my stalker slowiy circled the building.  The police detained him for lack of a valid driver's license. They instructed me to leave and find gas at another interchange.

I have been stalked by a black bear on the Appalachian trail, and by a pack of feral dogs while snowshoeing in upstate NY, This experience was no less disconcerting, but the dispatcher at 911 was quite comforting.

I am now at a rest area, en route to Fargo, ND, to find out if it's anything like the movie or TV series.

My car engine is increasingly noisy and the check engine light is on. I really wish this trip was less of an adventure.

DAY 3 -- Long and Bumpy

Mama said there'd be days like this...it's a long story.

The day started well. You may recall from last year that I often go out of my way to visit places that have interesting names. Well, I did that this morning. I went to Lake Nettle (sic) in northern Ohio near the Michigan line. The general store there is called "Nettie's Stop & Shop.

 I bought a $5 jar of peanut butter and a bunch of old wooden fishing lures for $1.50 each. They'll likely sell on eBay for $10 to $20 each. I learned that Nettie was the legendary lake monster, based in fact on an extraordinarily  large snapping turtle that reportedly was big enough for one entire family to stand on his back for a photograph. (I did not see the photograph.) Incidentally, I recently hooked the big snapping turtle of my own Autumn Lake. Fortunately, he got away.)

I drove across the Michigan line, because I could, and (back in Ohio) I stumbled upon some 2000-year-old mounds, built by Native Americans, Hopewell Indians, because (like now) there's not much else to do in what would become Ohio.  I had now driven across virtually the entire state, east to west. Contrary to popular belief, it is not high in the middle. The mounds were round, but not more than 3-feet high. Perhaps they wer trying to spell out" OHIO" for the landing craft, but (being illiterate) could only manage "OOOO".

I tried to avoid the Ohio Turnpike because of the tolls and the fact that the big trucks drive faster than I do in my trailer which is blowing around in the wind. The GPS on my phone had other ideas and kept trying to put me back on the highway to save me 22 minutes. Somewhere along the way, computers took control, when we were dozing. It got me on the highway, where I have to drive under the speed limit, anyway, with the hope of staying in my own lane, when being passed by tandem trailer trucks.  So it didn't save me 22  minutes -- and it cost me $13.70. OOOO!

But wait.. there's more...

When it started to rain, my windshield got real streaky and I misjudged the entrance ramp to the highway. The GPS bitch "turn left" but failed to mention that the entrance ramp was also an exit ramp with no dividing median.  So I turned directly into the path of a state police car getting off the highway. Needless to say, the trooper pulled me over, looked at me with a puzzled expression, asked a few be questions, and decided I was mostly harmless. So he did not ask to see my license. I was driving very much like an old lady, really pokey. He just kind of laughed it off and wished me a safe cross-country journey. If I had said "Did I do something wrong, officer?" , it might have been different.  Then my troubles began.

I stopped at a rest area and took a nap so I would not have to drive through Chicago during rush hour. It was 9:00pm when I went through the Hog Butcher of the World. I feel like I got mugged without ever getting out of my car -- toll after toll  -- one of which cost  $19.60, because I had three axles. Two axles would have cost only $5.70. New Math -- go figure. I think the toll collector was Mayor Lori Lightfoot, herself. 

 Traversing the city was a thrilling ride on a deteriorating roadbed. I get about 10 mpg and was nearly out of gas. 

Do you remember the scene in National Lampoon's Vacation when Chevy Chase exited this same Chicago highway in an RV to ask directions in the ghetto? I do, too, so I stayed on the highway, running on fumes.  Eventually, I stopped safely in the breakdown lane and dumped a gallon of my generator gas into the tank of the Jeep. When I emerged on the west side of the city, I found a safe gas station, but my two phones were dead so I had no idea where I was going. I discovered that I had lost the front wheel of my bicycle on the bumpy highway. Imagine the reaction of drivers of the cars behind me-- OOOO! The latch on the screen door of my RV got broken. I got locked inside the trailer at the gas station.

I had hoped to make it to Vinnie Ha Ha, Wisconsin (truly) but, ha ha, the joke was on me. So I am now camped at a Walmart in Crystal Lake, Illinois.

Yes... there'd be days like this, my mama said.

DAY 2 - My Life is Brilliant

DAY 2--  Tuesday am --trying to average 280 miles/day x 10 days...which leaves 4 days for sightseeing or detours around forest fires, Drove 270 miles yesterday, arriving at the Presque Isle Casino in PA (free camping) at 2 am. Won $400 on 50-cent slots before going to bed at 4 am. Note the 240 free games, followed by 50 more. Luck of the Irish? Surely, no skill required.

Tuesday 11pm -- Stopped after 240 miles, near the western end of the Ohio Turnpike, because the Turnpike Authority has thoughtfully provided 10 campsites for RVs,  removed from the scores of semis with their idling diesel engines. I rarely pay for overnight stays, but I'm tired after getting caught in Cleveland rush-hour traffic. The modest cost, deducted ftom my gambling winnings, saves me the trouble of starting up a noisy generator.  I can use my electric heater (Holy Toledo! It's cool here tonight) rather than burning propane.

On My Way! DAY 1

Thanks to help from friends,  Joe and Loral, I'm on my way West. Only a day behind schedule. J Just stopped for a nap near Rochester, NY. Looking for the wormhole to Rochester, MN.

Thanks to the generosity of 50 relatives, friends and strangers, RunVinnyRun.Fund is halfway to the goal of $10,000. However, it seems to have reached a plateau. Nonetheless, I'll be soon heading west with faith and hope that the rest will show up somehow. I have about 200 FB friends. About 150 of them are musicians, many of whom have struggles of their own. For example, I'm sure that some of my friends from Open Mic Night at Oswego Music Hall would make a donation if they could. I ask for their prayers, which I will replace in kind.

 

If I Had a Hammer...

An open letter to Home Depot --

Dear Mr Depot:

In accordance with the "Americans with Disabilities Act", I request that you provide utility trailers for the handicap bumper cars in all your stores. I am usually there at closing time, and assistance is seldom available.  "Disabled" people do stuff, you know.

Sincerely,

Vinny

***Speaking of hammers,  "When all you have is a hammer, the whole world looks like a nail. That's my response to the 4 surgeons who recommended amputation, despite the fact that the circulation in my leg is not bad.  What about phantom pain? Huh?  I am grateful to Dr Pinney, the orthopaedic surgeon at Cleveland Clinic, who referred me to the Exosym program at Hanger Clinic. You can learn all about it here:  http://RunVinnyRun.Fund

VITRUVIAN MAN WITH A LIMP

 

Adaptation by Leonardo da Vinny

Let's face it, nobody's perfect.

If you want to help Vinny walk again, maybe even run,

please say a prayer. 

 Sincere thanks to those who made a pecuniary contribution.

We are almost half-way to our goal !

If you are able, but have not yet done so, please visit

http://RunVinnyRun.fund

THE PROMISE OF A NEW DAY

 

I wrote this Haiku 5 years ago.

I forgot about it, 

        but Mark Zuckerberg didn't.

Thanks, Mark!

It's more appropriate than ever.

SHE IS WITH ME ON THIS JOURNEY

Our 1969 Mustang Grande

Pics from my wedding album -- 50 years ago. Note the cane. I'm actually grimacing in pain during the dance. It wasn't fair to Debbi -- she could have been a ballerina. It's been 7 years since she waltzed into a higher dimension. JUST BECAUSE THEY'VE LEFT DOESN'T MEAN THEY'RE GONE. She is with me on this Journey. It was her birthday when I went to Hanger Clinic in Syracuse for my initial evaluation for the new prosthesis.  Assuming a successful fundraiser, I'll probably be arriving in Gig Harbor, WA, on October 10, our 50th wedding anniversary.

I know there are at least a few people who don't really like me, either because I'm a smarty-pants (guilty, as charged) or for some other reason that may or may not be valid.  Everyone loved Debbi. So if you're one of them and you have refrained from making a donation to the fundraiser, please do it for Debbi, not for me. After all these years by my side, she is surely tired of hearing me bitch and moan. Thank you!

LIVING THE DREAM

 After my wife passed away, I sold the big house, paid off all my debts and bought a cabin in the woods -- 7 acres on a private lake.  The Amish are marvelous carpenters, but they don't do plumbing or electricity.  Either did I, but I couldn't afford contractors, so I learned.

I learned that LIFE OFF-THE-GRID (especially on a hill) is a lot of work: firewood, propane, whatever.  It's a problem just getting the groceries from the car into the cabin.  Hoisting a 300-lb Amish chimney into place is a challenge. The cost of perseverance is pain, lots and lots of pain...but I manage to get by on Social Security.  I retired at 48 for health reasons, so there are no retirement savings.

(Photo from Google Earth, so the vertical scale is exaggerated) 

 It is quiet out here.

____________________________________________

WHO AM I?

 The following is a little biographical information, much of which was compiled by Shelly DeGolyer from my Facebook page.

This is how I described myself on Etsy, some time ago. It's fairly comprehensive.

ABOUT ME
Folks think I don’t do much 'cause I’m retired.
Well, why am I never, ever bored? Maybe it’s
because I’m a widower, father and a cat valet;
tenor, cantor, chorister, a harmonica player;
composer; photographer and philosopher;
book-seller & antiques dealer; dreamer;
kayaker, canoeist and bicyclist; once a
Ph.D. biologist, still a naturalist, but
now more often a lyricist, satirist
or humorist; Transcendentalist
and a Catholic Buddhist (vice-
versa, I suppose); now semi-
professional artist; rather
prolific writer of poetry
and a little less prose.
My occupation, in a
word, is ‘Pilgrim’,
certainly not a
‘retiree’ who
has little or
nothing to
do. Nope.
Bored?
Never,
ever.
Not
me
!

________________________________________________

SCUBA is easy

WALKING is difficult

RUNNING is impossible

 

Let's  make the impossible possible...

_________________________________________________

SCOOTING in style

It's great in airports

but it's suicidal on stairs

The local supermarket said I couldn't ride it in the store. 

So I wrote a letter that began with "In accordance with the AMERICANS WITH DISABILITIES ACT..."

Now I hang a shopping basket on the handlebars.  

________________________________________________

I do clean up good.

for the Syracuse  Oratorio Society 

at a Symphoria concert

A LITTLE BACKGROUND

 WHAT'S THIS ALL ABOUT?

Assuming the fundraising effort organized on my behalf by Shelly DeGolyer (a daughter I never had) is successful, I'll be going to Hanger Clinic in Gig Harbor, Washington, in October.  There, I'll be fitted with a high-tech orthotic/prosthetic hybrid for my lower right leg.  Hopefully, it will enable me to walk unassisted, maybe even run again.  Please see the GoFundMe Campaign (link above) for a full explanation and an amazing video of what other candidates have been able to do.

MY SCHEDULE

I'm leaving my cabin on Autumn Lake in Northern  New York in late September, with my one remaining cat (Corina), and pulling my new travel trailer with my old Jeep Grand Cherokee.  You'll be able to follow my progress on this blog.  I'll be at Gig Harbor October 12-14 for the fitting -- and again October 21-27 for the rigorous training program.  Remember, this device was developed by the US Army for wounded soldiers, some of whom wanted to return to active duty.  Me, too...but not in the Army.

I can't go home until May 1.  We get up to 300 inches of snow here, east of Lake Ontario.  My driveway is 0.25 mile long, up-hill and north-facing.  The snow lingers.  In the past, I've gotten stuck for days in my driveway in mid-April.  So you are invited to tour the country with me.  I visit a lot of National Parks and do a lot of kayaking and bicycling.  This year, I might be able to go on hikes, too! Imagine that.

A Wall for Fiscal-Conservatives

RUN VINNY RUN STOPS HERE!

SO YOU CAN STOP SCROLLING. 

YOU ARE WELCOME TO PERUSE MY OLD BLOG POSTS,
BUT YOU PROBABLY HAVE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO.
DON'T YOU! 

GO HUG SOMEONE.

WALK THE DOG. 

WALK THE CATS. (Good luck!  Let me know how it goes.)

_______________________________________________
***********************************************

 

 

I have a some alternatives for fiscally conservative Republicans to consider rather than spending $15 billion to build a wall along the Mexican border. I have saved the best for last.
(1) Why not plant a cactus fence along the border, like in the picture below?

(2) Construction workers in Mexico learn about a $1.40 an hour, compared to $32 per hour for union construction workers in the US. Assuming that half of the total cost is materials, virtually all of the labor cost could be eliminated by hiring Mexican workers to build the wall.
(3)You can save even more by building  the wall near the border between Mexico and Guatemala -- where it's only about 150 miles from sea to sea. Mexico might even be willing to pay for that alternative to keep the Guatemalans out.

(4) Better yet ... an estimated 720,000 illegal immigrants enter the US annually across the Mexican border --  and about half of them get caught. These 360,000 could be detained in labor camps and paid 10¢/hour to construct the wall.
(5) Even better still, let's pay them to not build the wall, but we'll tell tRump that they are working hard.

(6) Lay off all the Border Control Agents and put a $1,000/head bounty on the illegal immigrants. Then let the vigilantes solve the problem. This would reduce the annual cost to $7,200,000. The program could be terminated when tRump leaves office.

(7) My personal favorite is to build a 3-inch high wall out of Legos in the eastbound breakdown lanes of Interstate Highways I-8 and I-10, as a diversion, and scatter loose Legos along it -- with signs in Spanish saying "Please remove shoes before entering the USA".

On Forgetfulness

If you hear me complain that I cannot recall
     where I put my car keys,  or my dead cell phone,
     when I came home from wherever it was that I went yesterday ...
Please ask me if I can remember
       the very first time our baby grabbed my finger,
           or called for me in the middle of the night,
               or how I felt when the school bus pulled away
  that September day, so many years ago.